It's OK to sashay away from people/places/things that no longer serve you 🤸♀️
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I'm a sucker for an inspirational quote and my fave one recently has been:
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✨ The woman you're becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces and material things. Choose her over everything.✨
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(idk who said this btw - does anyone know who to credit? 🤔)
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When I started recovery, I was terrified of myself 😳 For years I had wrestled to be something I wasn't - a quieter, gentler, less ambitious, less opinionated woman. I believed that being this smaller version of myself was the only way I could ever be valued and loved 😔
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My distorted beliefs were reinforced by toxic people in my life at that time 🙇♀️ An ex-boyfriend told me my intelligence was "intimidating" and asked me to stop talking about things he didn't understand cos I "made him feel like an idiot". My former best friend told me I was "intense" and if I just "chilled out" then other people would like me. I existed in an echo chamber of negativity that made me hypervigilant, watching every word that came out of my mouth for fear I was being "too much" or "not enough" 🙊
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A major break through in my recovery came when I realised those people were wrong. Another came when I cut them out of my life for good.
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Sometimes the only way to move on with YOUR life and YOUR journey is to let go of those who want to change you or change the path you choose to take 👋 It's not easy - I lost my entire friendship group when I stood up to my so-called best friend. It was a deeply painful time that still haunts me, but despite it all, I wouldn't change my decision for the world.
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The woman I'm becoming deserves more than to be silenced and minimised and bullied. I will honour her no matter the cost 😌
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What do you need to let go of to grow? ❤️
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#recovery #quote #personalgrowth #anxiety #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #wellbeing #wellness #selflove #acceptance #movingon #inspo #travel #mhaw #mentalhealthawareness
In my natural habitat 🌳☀️💃 I know every corner of this woodland back to front. It has been a vital part of every stage of my life:
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👶 When I was a kid, my family would bring me to play pooh sticks in the stream that wound through the valley.
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🤸♀️ As a teenager, I'd come here with my friends to while away lazy summer afternoons, and "revise" for our exams.
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🙇♀️ Whilst I was sick with anorexia, it was the place I took out all my pent up anger and anxiety and restlessness, stomping around the fields and up and down the hills until I felt human again.
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🧘♀️ On my trips home from uni, I savoured the wide open spaces and peace and quiet here, retreating from the noise and pollution in London and taking refuge among the trees.
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👩🦰 Now I'm living at home again and this woodland helps me energise and unwind on my commute to and from work. It's also the place I insist on bringing my boyfriend everytime he visits, because I love the way the pathways and fields and nooks and crannies that I'm so familiar with can surprise him.
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I am very lucky to have access to such an amazing woodland, right on my doorstep. Living in London really made me appreciate how glorious getting out in nature can be. I need these green spaces for my mental health and sense of being connected to the world 😌
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What helps you feel connected and grounded? 💚
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#nature #woodland #forest #outdoors #wellbeing #placetovisit #wellness #mentalhealthawareness #mhaw #mentalhealth #recovery #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #greenspace #environment
On my last night in London, I think about the past 1600 days - for that is how long I've called this loud, proud, beautiful beast of a city my home 🌆
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It hasn't always felt like home. There have been many days when London has felt heavy, overloud, overmuch. Too full, too saturated, yet also empty, devoid of meaning and connection. There have been many days when the grand facades and historic landmarks meant nothing to me, just shells in the background of a narrative of loneliness 😔
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Yet there have been many days too of happiness. Of freedom and exploration. Of self-discovery and friendship and romance. I have fallen in love here, with the view across that river, with the smell of fancy coffee, with the people whose life trajectories brought them across my path. It is a privilege to live and learn and work and grow here 🙌
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I am grateful to London for teaching me two things: survival and fulfilment. I am savvier and more self-reliant than when I arrived, a scared and overwhelmed 18 year old in the throes of anorexia. I know what rock bottom looks like, and that puts everything else into perspective. I also know what it means to find sheer, heart-warming joy, to step beyond my comfort zone into wonderful experiences, from delicious foods to rock climbing to coming out to long, intense discussions about politics and justice and normativity. Without London, I would be so much the poorer in experience and intellect (if significantly richer in money 😅)
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One of the great things about getting older is being able to recognise when it's time to move on. In school, you are moved on whether you like it or not - you get older, you pass exams, you're onto the next one. Outside of that framework, I am learning how to grow on my own terms. It's time for me to let London go, for now. I have learning to do that will take me beyond these familiar streets and tube routes. It's exciting and terrifying and that is exactly how I want to feel, aged 22 and beginning to get an idea of who I really want to be 😌
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Thank you London - I love you, but it's time for me to leave 👋
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#london #travel #adulting #recovery #change #personalgrowth #movingon #mentalhealth #writersofinstagram
Is a mood 😑👆 Emerging from a cave of anxiety after 3 days buried in self-doubt and fear 🤦♀️ Anxiety is constant noise in your head: questioning and re-questioning every little thing, feeling worthless and inadequate, falling prey to the idea that nothing you do is good enough and neither will it ever be...🙃 Some days that's just too much to handle. Some days you have to lie on your bed for 4 hours, doing absolutely nothing, allowing the waves of exhaustion to wash over you as you surrender the fight to function for just one day...
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Quick reminder that it's OK to rest. It's OK to do nothing. It's OK to cancel plans and rearrange work (if you can). You're NOT a failure. You're just really damn tired and who can blame you, when you wrestle so hard with your demons each day? 💜
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#anxiety #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #rest #anticapitalistlovenote #productivity #fuckdietculture #wellbeing #wellness #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #recovery #reminder #health #fitness #holistic
